Week # 62

Ten weeks past a year already? Wow, time flies!

I was surprised and happy to drop another 2.2 pounds this week. My new total is 77.4 pounds gone. I am so focused on the number tally that is gone, I don't remember what my weight is, I have to go back and look at it or do the math.

My husband informed me that I needed new slacks since my current khakis are drooping. I went shopping yesterday and came home with a new pair in an exciting size....a 14! For some people, a 14 sounds huge, but coming from a 24 before starting this journey, a 14 is great! I shop in what I consider low to mid-price stores most of time. At my best weight as an adult, most of slacks were 12s in the stores I frequented. That is part of why this 14 is so exciting....it means I'm getting close!

At almost 63 and a lazy attitude toward exercise, I doubt I will ever have firm upper arms, thighs and tummy again. Maybe I will work on that attitude and improve, but I feel so much better, I'm not concerned with that right now. If anyone doesn't want to look at what is loose, they can look the other way.

It sure is fun shopping in regular size departments again.

Onward, downward and on to the mall!

Weigh In # 61

A friend recently posted something on Facebook about giving smiles and compliments and how we never know how greatly appreciated they can be by the recipient. I know that this is true, but it really hit home this morning when I was surprised to be the recipient. Many of the people at WW say positive, flattering things to me and others and this is always appreciated but doesn't catch me by surprise. We're like family at this point. A nice word is always welcome but it isn't truly surprising from some because they are so supportive.

There is a woman who joined our meeting recently. I don't think I've had any recognition (awards) since she has been coming so I wouldn't assume she knows how much I've lost or what I looked like in the beginning. She said something today that ended with "as thin as Charlene". Our meeting leader caught the look on my face and asked me how that made me feel. I made a fanning my face motion with my hands and smiled because I didn't know what to say. The meeting ended a few minutes later. I got into my car and burst into tears.

I was a fat kid. Other kids were often cruel. Most of my adult life I've been overweight and some adults are as cruel as kids had been. I think I've accepted and liked myself most of my life, but to say the verbal arrows didn't hurt when they hit would be a lie.  My husband, sons, daughter-in-law and other close friends have said great things to me. Hearing "thin" in the same sentence as my name coming from someone whose first name I just learned last week got to me.

My new total loss is 75.2 pounds. Maybe some of what I lost was a defensive shield.

Onward and downward with a big smile on my face!

# 60 (and # 59 too)

Do some people really have time to feel bored? Not me. I didn't know retirement could be so busy! The good thing is that most days are alarm clock free.

I had my grandkids here during the day last Monday through Friday. Yep, I'm one of those grandmas who think they are utter joys and loved every minute of them being here but I was tired at the end of the day. The needs of the 5 year old are much different than those of the two month old. They both seemed to need something whenever I so much as thought about writing a post last week, but hey....they are only small for a little while and one day I will miss being needed.

The weekend was full of family also with a retirement party held at the grandkid's home for their other Papa. It was a wonderful day with a bit of overindulgence where WW points are concerned. I still managed to lose .1 this week and 1.7 the previous week for a new total of 74.1 gone!

I am so looking forward to hitting 75 pounds gone!

Week 58: Commitment

How appropriate that today's meeting subject was commitment. I haven't been fully committed lately and it showed up as .6 gain. End of the world? Of course not, but a wake up and reminder.

Before I go and enter my weight and today's breakfast and lunch points, I will say something positive about a recent purchase. I bought two sleeveless tops. I have a few sleeveless dresses but between the state of my arms and the fact that I am cold before anyone else, they haven't been worn without some sort of cover up.

 

I wore a sleeveless tank the other day out in public and nobody died because of soft, jiggly upper arms!

Onward, re-committed and downward!

Week 57: After a holiday weekend

Today is Wednesday. Monday would have been my weigh in but we extended our holiday weekend. Yesterday I had an early appointment (before drop in weigh ins opened) and I wasn't about to weigh in after eating.

This blog is really for me, but I do write as if someone else might read it. I have no complaints about WW but I don't follow everything exactly. I am making WW work for me and the biggest part of that is weekly weigh ins and meetings which offer so much support and inspiration.

The main part of what I didn't do "right" (that is not a WW term, they aren't into right and wrong which is a judgmental concept) is that I didn't track while we are at the cottage and I ate things when I wasn't even hungry. They were just there and looked good. Little Debbie Swiss Rolls for instance. Quality? Heck no! A tasty sinful memory of my past? Oh yeah.....

And then there were the BBQ chips. I don't really like potato chips, so why these?

I love the BBQ seasoning. This is also odd. I'm not adverse to other things BBQ, but it isn't a favorite like chocolate or coffee.

I need to recreate that seasoning and just sprinkle it on my fingers so I can lick it off. 

And lastly, there was this, but only one time.

Sometimes, an icy cold long neck is just perfect. I thought about having another but realized a second one would not taste any better than the first. 

The same reasoning applied to the chips (a small amount on my plate, not the bag at my side) and the cake rolls. They were one deliberate indulgence, not something eaten on the sly. Yes, I used to do that. Did my family ever say anything about what I ate before? No. So why did I sneak around to eat them? Like they wouldn't notice the box had two or three packages missing? 

What I am doing is all out in the open. I expect it will be long time before the points of BBQ chips or Swiss Rolls are worth the indulgence again. A Miller Lite is most likely to be imbibed before the other items, but even that is a seldom thing. I truly am not much of a drinker but that isn't just about WW. 

My point, because I really do have one? I am down .8 from last Monday, a new total of 72.9 pounds gone. 

Even when you decide to stray from plan a bit, it can be a controlled stray. Best case scenario would have been to look up the points and track them. I didn't, but I didn't let these choices become a new or returning habit. I've come too far, look so much better and feel way too good to go back. There isn't a cookie, chip, alcoholic beverage or any other form of food or drink worth all of that!

Onward and downward!

Week 56: A close call

Knowing better but still doing something counterproductive...what is that the definition of?
Often this is the case with someone trying to change their ways and improve their life. We backslide. We're human. We need to forgive ourselves but figure out why we did this.

I admit that I have eaten things and not tracked because of not knowing the points and not bothering to try to guess what they might be or look up a close proximity. That has been the exception, not the rule, and in each case of doing this the past year, I did not go overboard in quantity consumed (my arbitrary definition of overboard) and each time thought the item consumed was worth it.

So what happened this week?

It began with a sinfully delicious banana cream pudding. The quantity made for Father's Day a week ago yesterday was huge. It was the first time making the recipe so I didn't want to play around with substitutions. Even after giving away most of what remained after dinner, there was still a lot of dessert left. I had two more servings of this or was it three? The dangers of not tracking included memory loss.

It will be a long time before I make this dessert again so that isn't a threatening, ongoing problem. My issue was something from my past haunting me.

Mindless handfuls of those sneaky things were taken to my desk while working on the computer or on art projects. Ashamed of this, even while reaching for them, I did not track them. I didn't want to know how many points they were, especially after the banana cream pudding.

You know what the kicker is? The banana dessert was a rare treat and worth it, the M&Ms were not. M&Ms never are. Why did I reach for them? Because they were there? That is a lame excuse. There are other things that could get me "in trouble" both in the house and readily available at the grocery store and restaurants. Why M&Ms? I really don't have an answer but will think about it.

Why are they in the house at all? They are here for my grandson. I thought I could control myself and did a decent job of it until I moved them from a bag in the cupboard to the candy dish of my childhood. I am putting them back in a ziploc bag and getting back to tracking.

I still managed to lose .2 pounds but that isn't what I expected, hence the "whew!"

Onward, and downward with an empty candy dish

Week # 55

I feel bad that I've been rushed the past two Mondays and haven't been able to stay for the meetings BUT I did get to them to weigh in. Yay me!!

An even bigger Yay me if for losing 2.1 pounds since last week. My total is now 71.9 gone.