12 weeks

June 1st is when I decided I had to go back to Weight Watchers. June 2nd was the day this journey began.  August 25th, marked 12 weeks of following program. Twelve weeks that have flown by, 84 days of tracking, and countless minutes of feeling better.

I've said before that I didn't get the smug feeling I've had before when I started WW or any other plan, all gung ho with an attitude that said "look at what I'm doing? Aren't you proud of me?". This time I've been quiet and enjoying my success personally without fanfare. My husband tells me he is proud of me which is very nice to hear. A few people who are very close to me and realize what I'm doing have made encouraging comments. Some haven't figured out what is different but have said that I look good, as in rested or happy. I smile and thank them.

When I said there have been countless minutes of feeling better I mean actual physical reasons for feeling better. Less sodium (virtually no canned or packaged meals) means no swollen ankles at night. Less weight means less stress on my joints. I am moving more easily, not feeling stuck in the seat of an upholstered sofa that is deeper than usual or a bit lower. I have more energy and have tackled some jobs around the house that I've been avoiding.

I don't have any secret knowledge as to why I am successful this time. We've all heard to take a day at a time in any endeavor, but don't we often ignore that and look at how much lies ahead and become discouraged? If someone had told me on June 2nd that I would weigh 25.9 pounds less in 12 weeks, I wouldn't have believed them. Not that it isn't possible but every Monday was going to be a new beginning, yet nothing changed in all those previous weeks, months or years.

My leader said today that we need to do 4 things to be successful in any positive changes we hope to make in our lives. They are:

• Affirm it
• Practice it
• Repeat it
• Believe it

I think I began doing this from the beginning without putting it in these words. I am eating to live, not living to eat. I didn't think I was living to eat before, but the thought of dessert was more exciting than an entree or side dish. Social gatherings always include food and I thought it wouldn't be polite not to eat what someone else had made or brought. A huge light bulb moment occurred last week when I was out with my once-a-month dinner buddies. Dessert has always been part of our night out. We ate at a place with a limited dessert menu. Nothing appealed to me. I asked if they had ice cream which is sometimes available but not on a menu. They did not. I passed on dessert and lived to tell about it!

While I am thinking about choices I am not thinking about being deprived, mainly because I am not. Last night for dinner we had BLTs. We don't have bacon often but when we do, we splurge. I had two BLTs made with reduced calorie bread, non-fat mayo, and three pieces of bacon each. The bacon was 8 points, the bread slices came to 5 points. The produce and fat free mayo were free. Were those two sandwiches worth 13 points? Absolutely. I had figured out the points early in the day and ate breakfast and lunch with this in mind.

I can't tell anyone to do this because I say so, or because it is working for me. I've tried this before but I wasn't really ready and the results, or lack of, showed it. I do think of all the months that I "was going to do something" about my eating habits but didn't and three months later the scale would show the same number. This time, three months has flown by and the loss has been...dare I say it?....easy.

Onward and downward. 

Day before a weigh in

I bought WW's Activelink and am still in the preliminary stages of it monitoring my usual activities. I don't know how this is going to work but it should help as I am not very active and this should be a spur to get going.

Yesterday I needed to buy milk. I bought fat free. I was prepared for this to be a sacrifice as I have drank 2% milk for years and loved it. Oddly enough, growing up I drank what was then called skim milk and never minded it. I admit that non-fat milk does look like white water but you know what? A cold glass is still very good.

Leaving the house for this errand, I noticed how baggy my khakis were. I went to store that has clothing as well as groceries (Meijer) with the hope of buying an inexpensive pair of khakis or chinos. Is there a difference? Let's just call them beige pants. All they had were stretchy pants. Not what I wanted at all.

I went to Sears, figuring this item would be a staple and easy to find. No such luck. I was about to give up for the day, not intending yesterday to be a clothes shopping expedition, when I noticed that some of the items in the Lands End department were on sale at 30% off. I don't want to spend much on clothes in these in-between stages of weight loss but I do want to have a few things that fit appropriately. I came home with both a beige and a black pair and the best part of this (besides the sale price) was that they are two sizes smaller than the pants I had on while shopping!!

The time is inevitably coming when I won't show a loss at the scale on Monday's weigh in. There may even be a gain. I know this happens, sometimes because your metabolism decides to take a vacation or maybe sodium is to blame. I'm not expecting that to be the case tomorrow, but I'm reminding myself that if and when it happens, don't freak out. I've come a long way and feel good about everything, especially those new pants.

Eleven weeks

Eleven weeks have flown by. I am tempted to say something about other changes I should have made in this time frame, such as regular exercise, but I am trying to say negative things about myself. The changes in my eating habits have been a big change, and I've made other positive changes that don't relate directly to this journey. Without meaning to sound smug, I'm proud of my accomplishments.

I think there is a subliminal message in that pink graphic because I see the letters R, U & N.
As a crafter, run means colors are spreading, not something physical. I will think about walking though. 

So what did the scale show today? Three pounds down from last week for a total of 24.8 pounds! If they had a scale in the bathroom I would have stripped to see if my clothing accounted for .2 pounds. It's ok though, it will come.

So what does 24.8 pounds look like in items we all recognize? It is roughly 26 cans of vegetables and fruit.

It could be two 12 pound bowling balls that are so dirty they actually weigh 12.4 pounds each. 

Or if you are a wimp like me, it could be three 8.2 pound bowling balls.

Perhaps I should have taken my measurements at the beginning or even now, but I'm not inclined to do so. I can't say numbers don't matter because I certainly do look for the number on the scale to decrease while the number of pounds lost goes up. My precise clothing size doesn't matter as long as long as the current clothes get looser and I eventually shop for the next smallest size.

In my twenties, I was embarrassed by the number on the scale which was 144.  Most of my clothes were size 12 with an occasional 10 in a dress. There wasn't quite the attention to numerical sizes in the seventies. In later years in some circles, especially media driven ones, if your clothing size was a double digit you might have felt like you were a heifer. I allowed negative comments to take root and pretended not to care as both the scale and dress size went up and up.

I don't know what my weight will be at the end of this journey. I may stop before the goal that WW has on file, or I may go beyond that. That is too far ahead to think about today. Now in my 60's, I know that I am not going to look like I did in the above picture no matter if I ever match that weight or not and that is truly ok. My goals are purely selfish now. Better is my goal, not someone else's idea of perfection.

Onward and downward!

Ten weeks down, who knows how many to go

Unlike the first 9 weeks where I was in control of meal choices at least 6 days out of 7, this past week I had one dinner not in my control after one planned mini-splurge and a choice I wouldn't usually make the night before weigh in.

First, the mini-splurge. My husband wasn't home for dinner and my younger son and I had some catching up to do. I suggested we go to a bar and grill run by three firefighters. It had been a fun place a few months ago when the rest of my family went and this son was unable to join us. I didn't have any alcohol because that is an easy thing for me to pass on and save points for something else. Normally when I have a burger at home, it is 1/4 of a pound. The bar burger was 8 oz. I did pass on the cheese and enjoyed every ounce of the burger. I ball-parked what I thought the point value was. I think I was still ok for my daily limit and almost never use my weekly extras, so I should have been ok.

NOT what I ate, although it did feel almost that huge. This photo is from London's Daily Star, June 3, 2014. The burger is 30 cm across, the patty is a whopping 50 ounces! This is offered at the Temple Bar in Brighton.  That doesn't look the least bit appetizing to me, does it to you?

Next was the meal that I didn't plan. My daughter-in-law, son and grandson joined us at the cottage on Saturday. She brought dinner, chicken tacos, bean salad and chips. Everything was delicious but I didn't know for certain how to count things. I could have excused myself and looked it up in another room but I knew I wasn't going to not eat what she brought, so I had one taco on a soft shell with just a small amount of cheese and second small helping of chicken only.

I've been avoiding tacos at home, either made her or especially take out from our favorite place. I'm not a chips person so they are usually easy to avoid but I do like nachos and normally use quite a bit of cheese on tacos. I don't think most Mexican food is WW friendly but I honestly haven't tried to find what would be yet. WW used to use the term "red light food" and most Mexican would fall into that warning category for me.

Hubby and I came home yesterday and promptly fell asleep while watching TV with our eyes closed. I woke up after 6:00 and was very hungry. I didn't feel like shopping or cooking. He opted for Chinese but that didn't appeal to me either. I had 16 points left so I had a wide variety available for dinner but chose something from my old days/old ways. I had a Big Mac! I can't truthfully say I was craving that, but it just sounded good so that is what I had.

Would the less than lean burgers and salty Mexican food be a problem on the scale this morning? I reasoned that I still did better with these three meals than I would have done three months ago. Whatever it would be, it would be. I was surprised to see another 1/2 pound gone. Yay me!

21.8 pounds gone. I'm aiming for a whole pound or 1.5 next week.

Onward and downward!

Nine weeks on program

I can't believe it has been nine weeks already.

If anyone reads this as a source of inspiration, I need to say that while I am following program closely, I am not following it exactly. I don't plan to ever work for WW so I am not figuring out the points on an occasional Nips coffee candy. At 30 calories, they are certainly better than the Milky Way Caramel candy bar that had been my candy of choice, or the mindless quantity of M&Ms that can be consumed while you type or read. Ever reach for another one and wonder the last few went? Look at my waist. That's where they went.

I also didn't count the smear of I Can't Believe Its Not Butter that I used on both slices of low calorie bread that I used when I made a grilled cheese sandwich with WW brand American cheese. It was laziness on my part that I didn't want to measure and look up the point value, but my rationale is that I am eating so much better and under the allowable total on most days.

At the cottage on Saturday, I had a lean hamburger on a Slimwich bun with a dab of fat free mayo. The rest of my plate was filled with green beans. Probably 2.5 cups of them! In the old days, old being over two months ago, I would have preferred a bar burger (not wonderful at the place near the cottage but it meant I didn't have to cook) or a burger from McDonald's. Fries probably would have accompanied the bar burger and a sundae would have come from McDonald's. Neither of the burgers would have been better than what I fixed at the cottage. The buns might have been tastier but truthfully, bread has never been my downfall. Warm rolls, yes. Desserts, yes. Ice cream, definitely.

I grew up in the 50's and 60's. Canned veggies were the norm in my mom's house, frozen for a few items that you couldn't buy canned. Same thing in my husband's background. He still prefers canned and likes frozen broccoli over fresh. For most of our marriage I cooked this way. I also used boxed potato, rice and noodle dishes.

Part of my failure to lose in the recent past has to be due to the quality of the food I ate. I thought I could cut back and see success. When it didn't happen, at least not with much speed, I gave up easily and ate the amount of food that filled me, usually more than a single serving according to the box. It shouldn't be big news to realize how good fresh vegetables taste, but it is true. I'm not embarrassed. I know better now, so I do better now.

I haven't cut out fast food completely. The difference now is that I think differently about what I am ordering and even plan for one of these meals occasionally. Alone for dinner yesterday, I had a Southwest chicken salad, grilled, from the McDonald's and a caramel sundae. I had enough points to do this and enjoyed every bit of that sundae. It isn't something I need to repeat today or this week. That compulsion is gone.

One of the rewards since early eliminating fast and processed foods is that I haven't had swollen ankles in two months. I don't know that they were ever large enough for someone else to notice, but I knew and I knew that wasn't good.

Without further ado but with a 9 second bit of fanfare....


I am down another 2.5 pounds for a total of 21.3 pounds. That is almost equal to the birth weights of both my sons and my grandson.

Ate weeks....er, no, make that 8 weeks....

My sense of humor hasn't diminished. It is still as lame as ever.

We are not having typical end of July weather at all. When I left for the WW meeting it was only 61* outside. I wore slacks and like most women who have ever weighed in at WW, I wondered how many extra ounces are in slacks instead of shorts.

I am down another .9 pounds for a total of 18.8.  I'm still feeling great, still motivated. Hitting 20 will be big and I'm really looking forward to hitting 25. Maybe I should think of a special way to celebrate that number.

I consider myself to be a fairly organized person but I have been known to procrastinate. Does that seem contradictory? Last week, without actually planning to attack my to-to list, I did just that. I tackled paper work. I booked a trip. I cleaned closets and purged a lot of crafts supplies. I have more cleaning, sorting and purging to do and still feel gung-ho about it. Has the 18 pound loss given me more energy or is it all about attitude? Maybe a little of both, but I'll take it.

Onward and downward, and not just on the scales but down the steps and out to the curb with trash or to the car with donations! The house is getting lighter right along with me.

7 weeks later....

Little victories and big this past week.

Last Tuesday was dinner out with my once-a-month dining buddies. We went to a bier garten because it is new to the area. Once upon a time this would have been difficult for me. I like beer but haven't had much of it for years because I often get headaches triggered by beer or wine. The limited menu was German food, all heavy sounding to me now. I had a Cobb salad that was ok but not wonderful. I had apple strudel for dessert, expecting it to be wonderful and I would bring at least half home to my husband. It wasn't and I didn't. I ate the sparse filling and left the chewy pastry. Wonderful review right? It is because I still had a pleasant evening with my friends. My focus was NOT on the food, but I don't have any interest in returning there again.

About 10 days ago I got out a pair of shorts that are a size smaller. They went on and zipped but weren't very comfortable when seated. I tried them on again yesterday and wore them all day. They still bulge a bit at the pockets when I sit, but my shirt covers that. And by the way, the shirt is a size smaller too!

Last night we were outside talking to a young couple who live down the street. The woman is a long time friend of my sons. She noticed that I looked thinner! I have already said that I don't need others to recognize this, but it is nice. No different than getting your hair cut a different way, it is nice to hear positive feedback.

The big victory was at the scales. Suzanne, my WW leader told us to stay off the scales at home. I did for 6.5 weeks. I got on a few days ago, telling myself that I wondered if the batteries still worked. They did and the reading is about what I expected. I weighed myself last night and again this morning. Why? Obviously to drive myself crazy! I weighed before leaving the house because I really was curious how different the home scale would be from WW's.

I think the house scale can go hide in a closet somewhere. I went to the meeting expecting to stay the same as last week, but I was down another 2.9 pounds for a total of 17.9 pounds!  That is more than two gallons of milk! A substitute leader told us that a gallon of liquid actually weighs 8.3 pounds. In grocery store terms, I'm not carrying two gallons of milk and 5 sticks of butter anymore!

Onward and downward!