Slipping into the future

I've been a little lax in posting...a month since my last post. Really? 



My absence here has been partly busyness and partly frustration. I'm not going to lie and say the program doesn't work, the truth is that I wasn't working the program. After losing most of the cruise weight gain (6.4 pounds), I have been up and down the same half pound for weeks.

Losing weight on WW or any other sensible plan is about what you eat as well as what you think. Eating smaller amounts, going all non-fat, whatever your plan is will work but your head needs to wrap around changes if they are going to be permanent. I truly feel that I am eating to live rather than living to eat now, but that doesn't mean there aren't little slip ups and set backs.

WW rolled out the new Smart Points with an emphasis on less added sugars and processed foods. No body can honestly argue that merits of this. On the old Points Plus program, frozen WW treats, items that I enjoyed, had a much lower point value. In meetings, we discussed how treats aren't really treats if you have them every day. Okay, I get that. I stopped buying them.

I came home from the cruise up a bit in weight, but in a good frame of mind. After losing 4-point something of the 6 pounds without effort (just going back to how I had been eating). I didn't expect to struggle with the remainder. A pre-meeting discussion with other members last week shined a light on what might be problem.

Ever want some chocolate, something that feels like ice cream or candy or maybe salty snacks are your downfall? You don't want to cave and dive into a vat of ice cream or the family size bag of chips and sometimes distracting yourself just isn't working. I lost 85 pounds on the Points Plus program and that was eating frozen treats almost every day of the week. Since being home from the cruise I've been subconsciously looking for them. Some nights I ate fruit, fruit and more fruit. Healthier than candy but in excess and still not satisfying my craving. When I say craving, I'm sure it was mental as much if not more than physical. Other nights I had something not at all good points-wise, such as a package of Pop Tarts. I don't even truly like Pop Tarts but I was like a junkie looking for a fix.

On the way home from last Monday's meetings, I bought my usual stock of fruits, veggies and dairy and included two types of WW frozen treats. Not only are they greater in point value now, they are much smaller. Bummer........BUT....get this: they satisfied that urge the three nights I had them this past week and I was down 2 pounds this morning.

As I have said before, Weight Watchers works but I am not a model member. I don't do everything by the book. Everyone has to find out what works for them. The WW treats help me by being instant portion control and in truth, since I rarely go into extra weekly points, I can afford them. Now that that they are back in the house I have given myself permission to have them, I don't think I will crave them the way I did the past month.

Minds can be funny things to figure out, even when they're our own.

I'm hoping, as I slip into the future, to reach my goal by my anniversary date on June 2nd. If I don't make it by then, I'll still be okay. As the saying goes:

Eighty-five point four stars of lost weight is out there, reminding me how strong I am, what I've learned and how far I've come.

Yay me!

Consequences, Life and Balance

The good news is that I lost 4.6 pounds of the 6.4 pound vacation gain. I still firmly believe that part of that was water retention from more sodium than normal the last few days before weighing in, but obviously I am happy with the loss.

The bad news? There is no bad news.

I splurged not only on vacation but at a family birthday celebration last week. I had two Coney dogs minus buns, ice cream for dessert and a Miller Lite that evening. Perhaps paring that down and skipping some of the chocolate floating around due to Valentine's Day, I would have lost the whole amount gained but I am okay with what I've done.

I have more weight to lose so I'm not in maintenance mode but I am learning how far I can stray when the occasion arises. Sometimes the best choice will still be a high number of WW points but there is more to life than counting points. Don't get me wrong, they ARE important but we do have our weekly reserve that we can dip into, and sometimes a person just has to do something off the chart.

The consequences of overeating is weight gain. I don't plan to do this often, I've worked too hard to get this far.

Life is to be lived. That doesn't mean eat whatever you want all the time or you'll gain an unhealthy amount of weight again and that will shorten the life you are anxious to enjoy living.

Balance is not a cookie in each hand, as tempting at that can sound. Balance is knowing when you can take a cookie, eat it and not slide back into bad habits (I could have sworn that column of Oreos was full a minute ago!) and when you need to remind yourself that you don't really need that cookie. It is just a cookie. It is not unconditional love. It is not world peace, the cure for dreaded diseases or anything at all magical. Balance is enjoying it if you do decide to eat it, but knowing having four more won't improve the taste you had with that first bite.

Onward and downward.

After the cruise...

Our vacation was wonderful.   Wonder. Full.    Won. Der. Full.   However you spell it or break it down, it was great.

While I didn't track, I was aware of what I ate, even the days I had ice cream numerous times. Yes, a cruise can be a dangerous place for a weight watcher, but I gave myself permission to cut loose and found that I didn't eat as much as I thought I might. I just plain don't feel good if I am too full and lord knows I don't want to outgrow my clothes!

At Monday's weigh in I was up 6.4 pounds. Based on how I feel this morning and by our home scale, I think part of that was water retention. My fingers felt pudgy on Monday and that is a definite sign for me. I'll know for sure how much damage my vacation did at my next weigh in. I have gone back to my new normal this week, nothing drastic to undo those 6 pounds. This is life. It will happen from time to time but I won't let it happen week after week.

 

Feeling regal enough to wear horizontal stripes later at Pirate Night on the Disney Cruise

 

With my favorite beach buddies

For my so-called friend who informed that I'd never get rid of the excess skin without surgery: See those bat wings (as you referred to them)? Bite them you lousy nay-sayer. I don't give a bat wing or a rat's hind end what you think. Don't like them? Look away. 

 

Rare moments with my mouth closed (not smiling or laughing) although I do appear to me smirking in the first photo. I bet I was thinking that ice cream weight surely melts in the sun!

Pre-vacation weigh in

I missed weigh in last week due to illness and apparently didn't post here the week before that. I'm not bored, just busy. Not feeling compelled to write after every weigh in might be a sign of comfort rather than danger.

Trust me, that isn't likely to be a Weight Watcher philosophy but it is how I'm feeling right now and it is all good. I'm making better choices now quite naturally as opposed to reaching for something with little nutritional value and way too many points. I'm not a saint, I had REAL ice cream twice recently, but one scoop, not the cereal bowl that used to be a normal serving.

I will miss next week's weigh in because I will be on vacation. I expect I will eat a few things that I wouldn't be eating here at home, but I also expect to be much more active. The mentality of thinking I have to eat all that is on my plate because I paid for it is gone. I paid way too dearly in weight gain thinking that way for years.

Today's scale has me down 86.2 pounds. Yay me!

Onward and downward!

Negative talk

My previous post was an upbeat one. This one isn't downbeat but is about negativity.

I hear people speaking negatively about themselves and it makes me sad. Some of these kind people would never said a bad word about someone else but are so hard on themselves. I know I've had some of those feelings about myself in the past, but not in recent years, at least not often. That hasn't changed because of weight loss. I liked myself 84 pounds heavier, I am simply healthier and proud of what I've accomplished now.

Negativity is around us, sometimes coming from people who simply don't realize what they're saying.

Just one dessert won't hurt.
You're going to blow away if you lose another pound.
You don't need to lose any more weight.
You're no fun anymore.

Short of being a drug addict or alcoholic and having an addicted friend tell you that just one {insert substance of choice here} won't hurt, no one clean and sober would tell you that one hit or drink won't hurt you. People who don't want to lose a dessert buddy or those who have never had a weight issue may not realize these remarks are inappropriate.

Beyond them, there are those who should know better but open their yaps anyway. Like the reformed smoker or drinker who seems to be on a mission to change everyone else, there are those who have lost weight and think they should comment on what you eat and weigh.

Should you be eating that?
How much did you say you lost? (somehow implying they don't believe the total)

What I am about to say is about someone within the organization where I have been so successful. I have debated about saying something to this person directly but A) I don't like confrontation unless I feel it is absolutely necessary and B) I will continue to encounter this person and this discussion could cloud the future.

I will call this person X and not reveal anything else about them. X sometimes works at the weigh in counter and sometimes subs as a speaker. There are many good qualities about X but some don't sit well with me and I recently discovered I am not alone.

Weight Watchers is not about shaming. They are not the food police. If you encounter WW personnel in a grocery store or restaurant, they are not there to judge you by what is in your cart or on your plate and vice versa. I say this in case someone is reading this entry, unsure about the WW program and thinks my comments about one person is representative of all. X is the only exception and on any given day, you might not recognize them from what I am about to say.

In speaking about this past holiday, X told the meeting that X and spouse were at an event where the spouse sat near a table of snacks and desserts. X told us that they went over to their spouse and told spouse to move from that seat because spouse had already had eaten 2 cookies.
THUD!
That wasn't just the sound of my jaw dropping, but of others around me. Thinking about this later, perhaps X and spouse watch out for each other and the comment was welcome by the spouse, but the way this was recounted to us was very judgmental and felt downright rude.

In my previous post I said that I did over indulge occasionally over the holidays, but was still mindful of what I was doing. The instances prior to X's meeting didn't make me feel happy, sad, guilty or mad. The two instances after X's story made me feel anger. I replayed X's story and felt they were judging me even without their eyes being present. It didn't help that X had been the person weighing me in with both gains.

Since I have not discussed this with X, they have no reason to know how I feel or how their comments were taken by those of us in attendance. The purpose of this entry isn't to bash someone but to let anyone who might be reading this (or to remind me) that each of us is in control of what we do. Whether X means to be judgmental or just sounds pompous while having good intentions, when we hear something negative we have two choices.

Speak up if it is something that needs to be stopped
-or-
Let it go and remind yourself that your opinion on how you are doing is the one that counts.

Having given this enough thought that I decided to write about it, if X speaks this way again about their spouse, I will say something during the meeting. If they aren't being unkind but just not telling their story well, they'll know how we members are hearing them and might chose their wording differently next time. If they are being pompous, they'll know that I see that and don't like it. Is that negative? No, it is standing up for myself and everyone who is on this journey.

Three days have passed since I wrote the above portion of this entry. I've gone back and forth on the merits of sharing this and decided it is a good thing for me to do. This is probably all for naught as I don't think many are reading this, but as I said above, it will be a reminder to ME. 

What clinched the decision was talking about WW with my knitting group last night. One woman has attended a few meetings where X has subbed and she knew immediately who I was referring to the minute I told the cookie story. 

Onward with the journey

Downward with the scale numbers

Upward with a positive attitude!

The year to reach goal? I think so!!

I've sort of slipped in posting and keeping track of what number weigh in I'm on. Such is life.

The holidays weren't really a struggle but I did gain 1.5 pounds. Was I aware of what I was doing? Yes. I enjoyed what I ate and drank but stayed mindful of what I was doing. Had I not, that gain would have many times greater than 1.5 pounds!

If someone is reading this who is struggling with all issues of weight loss, 1.5 pounds gained might sound like nothing or it might sound like the beginning of the end. It is neither. It is cause and effect. A gain is reversible. As my leader Suzanne said today, we can't think of food as good or bad. A blouse isn't good or bad, but when shopping, we have to decide if the price of the blouse is within our budget.

Sometimes we are going to splurge because something just looks too scrumptious to pass up. A dinner with my sister-in-law wasn't terribly over point allotment, but a few other days like that contributed to the gain. I don't feel guilty. I didn't do anything bad. I will make other choices this week and the rest of the gain will disappear. I spend wisely, whether Smart Points or dollar bills, even if occasionally it doesn't look like I have a budget.

I will be going on vacation next month and need shorts and a bathing suit. I haven't had a flattering bathing suit in eons and last year's shorts were happily too large at the end of summer so online shopping ensued last night. Because it is hard to know for sure how a suit will fit and if it will flatter, I ordered one bottom and two tops from one store, and another top and bottom elsewhere. These five pieces were a ridiculous sum of money for someone who rarely gets in a pool but weather permitting, that is where I will be next month. Decency requires body parts to be covered. Vanity requires this to be achieved somewhat tastefully. If some combination of the suit separates fit this criteria, the expense will be a worthwhile splurge.

Having said all that and sounding positive, I need to talk about something negative. I will do that in a separate entry because I want this one to be strictly upbeat.

I am less than 15 pounds from the goal I've set at WW but I intend to go below that and see how that feels and works for me. Considering I didn't know if I could or would stick with WW when I rejoined in June of 2014, part of me can't believe I am able to say I am 15 pounds from that goal. Having lost 84 pounds (down .5 from that 1.5 gain) as of today, I am sure that I can achieve my goal this year!

Onward, downward and in a new suit once the mail arrives!

Weigh in # 78

Where did a whole month go? Neither of my blogs have had a new post. Life was simply busier than it had been and coupled with a cold (hopefully my annual one so I can now say one and done), I just haven't taken the time to write.

I wasn't avoiding coming here because of gains but I did have two small, consecutive gains. I was getting lazy about tracking and cocky about how much I could snack and get away with it. Most of that was leftover Halloween candy that wasn't even favorites and therefore not worth it.

Just as I was about to rededicate myself to tracking, the new Smart Points plan was introduced. While  part of me was wishing they had waited until January to roll out the new program, I wasn't truly upset by the timing. The many glitches in the WW mobile apps and inability to access their site on my PC had me uttering a few choice words. There are still problems, but they're being worked on.

The changes in the program itself are good. The focus is more on protein and less on saturated fats and added sugar. We all know we should have been headed this way but you could follow the old program faithfully and still maintained some bad habits.

Ice cream is one of the things that got me into trouble over the years. I loved ice cream and rarely had a moderate serving. I have had WW brand frozen treats on hand since returning to WW in June of 2014. I have had one almost daily, tracked and fitting into my day. So what is the problem?  For me, it was a bad habit being continued in only a slightly better package.

With Smart Points, many lean proteins now give you more quantity per point. Saturated fats and added sugars have the opposite effect. Some frozen treats that were formerly 3 points are now 6 points. Milk and yogurt have gone up too. Certainly they aren't bad foods, but my morning coffee yogurt is now 6 points instead of four. The yogurt is important to me and a healthier habit than having ice cream every night.

So how did my first week on the new program go?  Twice my schedule was so derailed I had McDonalds for dinner. I tracked and had raw veggies and fruit once home again to round out those unplanned meals. I only used  a total of  3 optional weekly points, never felt hungry and ....tah dah....lost 3.8 pounds!  My new total lost is 85 pounds.

Onward and downward!